It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
