Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
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