your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize