Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
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