this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
