i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
We were destined to go to rehab together
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
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