That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
