We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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