So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Randomize
