last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Randomize
