well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
