Just fell off a train. Bad.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
