Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
