Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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