Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
