you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
