If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
