so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
