I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Randomize
