you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
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