the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
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