1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
wakey wakey hands off snakey
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Randomize
