we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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