just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
