You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Randomize
