Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
