Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
