I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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