College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
where are you?
Hypothermia
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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