Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
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