If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Randomize
