Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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