I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Randomize
