Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Randomize
