I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
Randomize