if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
