Im at strip club and am horny
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
