I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
Randomize
