A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
