saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
