mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
im having a threesome with these popsicles
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
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