Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize