Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
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