thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
