VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
My balls are so social today.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Randomize
