Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Randomize
