singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Randomize
