I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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