So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Randomize
