I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Randomize
