hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
Michael Bay diarrhea
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
NoShamevember. You game?
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
