my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
I haven't been this sober since birth.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
