So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
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