I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Randomize
