Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize