Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Randomize
