There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
