tell your sister to shave her snatch
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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