jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I just forgot I was standing up.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Randomize
