Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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